By: Lizzie Cernik
After funny, smart and kind, ‘honest’ is pretty high up on most girl’s laminated list of Prince Charming credentials. Written in capitals for ADDED EFFECT, it’s right there next to ‘must have all his own teeth’, ‘never leaves the toilet seat up’ and ‘doesn’t watch Sky Sports on romantic night in.
But like any good quality in a man, there’s such a thing as ‘too much’. And total honesty all the time doesn’t make for a picture of eternal rainbow cloud hopping joy.
A prime example: when ditching a date/lover/one night stand, it’s customary to be warm, gentle and just a tad economical with the truth. “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now”. “It’s not you it’s me”. “I’m so busy I can’t commit”. We all know it’s code for “I don’t like you at all and I’d rather spend the rest of my life having intimate relations with a potato”. But that carefully constructed pillar of little white lies IS there for a reason. Think how much worse you’d feel if faced with the truth? That he thinks you’re more annoying than a go-go juice snorting five year old in an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras? It’d cause more hysterical sobbing than Bambi in HD.
If you meet your man with no make up and electrical vault disaster hair, you don’t want a negative response. ‘Honest’ men who say “I’ve seen you look a lot better” are actually just being a bit cruel and hurtful. Whilst they might not mean to upset you, their ‘truthfulness’ can be the start of a massive row. If you ever find yourself in that situation, just try to make a joke out of it. Remind your man that it’s not a court of law and he doesn’t have to be quite so honest in his assessment of your unstraightened hair.
It’s not just inappropriate question answering of course. Unnecessary ‘sharing’ can be just as unwelcome. When a man talks about his ex-girlfriend or tells you about the ‘crazy stuff’ he did when he was single it can be very unpleasant. He’s only trying to prove he’s got no secrets but that’s not always a good thing. If you’re man’s being insensitive sit him down and explain why. Chances are he doesn’t even realise where he’s going wrong.
The truth is most women probably don’t want relationships to be completely honest. Although nobody’s giving the green light for men to start consummating like Z-listers on a reality show, but there’s definitely a time and a place for the brutal truth. And it never involves telling your current squeeze how pretty your ex-girlfriend was.
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